How Do You Know If You Have an Agenda When You Are Connecting?

I was on a training call today, and someone said that they are talking to lots of people. They are not having any trouble getting leads. But nobody joins their business. Why?The coach who was leading the call said that whenever this is happening, you have an agenda. What this means is that every time you talk to someone, you have an outcome in mind that is related to your business. So naturally somebody asked, "how do I know if I do and how do I change it?"This can be very hard to spot. One way to find out is to have someone who has already overcome this challenge do 3-way calls with you. After the call they can tell you if you have an agenda! But basically, if people are avoiding you after the first call you had with them, either they were not a good prospect for you anyway, or you said something that scared them off. It might not have been what you said, so much as how it came across.If any of these thoughts pop up before or during your conversations, you have an agenda:
I really need to get people into my business soon
I am not making any money yet!
Wow this person is good at MLM, I must get him on my team!
I know that company she is with is horrible. She'll do so much better with me!
I know, these all seem like natural thoughts when you are "prospecting." That is why you MUST STOP prospecting and start connecting instead!What you need is:
A great self development program
Someone to mentor you who has been where you are now, and is now successful
The absolute best self development book I know of for network marketers is Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich." Read it at least three times, and do the exercises - all of them! Reciting your positive statement which he helps you to craft, at least twice a day, is truly essential. Following the advice in this book will build your belief, faith, and confidence so you will not be hanging on the outcome of every single conversation.But I also have a new favorite, which really helps with getting rid of the agenda, and that is "Go Givers Sell More" by Bob Burg and John David Mann.If you are reaching out to other network marketers in the hope that they will join your team, I can assure you they will see it coming! How do you build a relationship without the agenda? The best way I have found, is to find out what their challenges are and offer them a solution that is NOT connected to your company! If they have no challenges, they would never join you anyway. The only people who might join you, are those who are not achieving the success they want where they are. And the way to build a lasting friendship with them, is to give them a solution to their biggest challenges. They still might not join you, so be sure there is no expectation attached.One caveat: I believe what you offer them needs to be totally free. If you benefit financially from them obtaining and using the information, it will erode if not destroy any hope of building trust.